A Beast of a Feast


What you gonna do with it, Rascal? You gonna eat it? It’s a pretty big meat. For a fella used to a alley scrap, that’s a white whale. Where’d you catch her? By them docks? You swoop her up with a claw snatch? I don’t see no claw scratch on ‘em. Looks a clean and fresh though. Little scared too. What’d ya say you was gonna do? Her’s fresh. A beast of a feast. You can prolly spend a week. By midway her’d be nice and rot-filled like you’re used ta. Maybe you can split it up amongst you and the rest. One big meat to eat in a single sit down.

There’s a burger joint round the alley you crawled outta this morning. Same spot where them same everyday scraps fill your rascal plate. You’ve got a mouth full now. Yous'll be king for a day. You ain’t used to going fish. You ain't used to a handful to carry. You like to be quick on them feets. Maybe that’s why ya scared. I see you, Rascal. I can smell the fear on you past the stink of that beast you hold up in between them claws.

I could help you, maybees. Maybees, we could strike a meal. Whoops. We can, you and me, we can writes up a contract, saying something like, tail and flippers for me, gut and eyes for you, and the bones we count up and split nice and even-steven.

What’s in it for you? Every little thing’s in it for you, Rascal. You splits ‘em with me and we’s the only two who has to know. We splits and the whole fish is ours. It can be romantic. Maybe I got a match. Maybe I got a candle, and a quiet place.

You like that, Rascal? If I has a little quiet place, away from the alley cats and scrappers, away from all them ordinary Rascals who ain't so smart as to catch a fish like this? I got such a place. I founds it. My little water tower hotel. Chased some alley cats out, and made it mines. We can share my bed for sleeps. There’s a hole in the top wheres we can peep the stars up and out. They got little shards a glass in the tower walls, make the moonlight flicker through in all colors. You wanna see it? We could be Rascals together. Even if you ain’t had the fish, we could. But the beast ain’t hurtin’ our chances neither.